Is being married worthy?

This days #marriage does't have the same popularity it used to have in the past. Single people and #divorce people are more common than ever. Freedom and autonomy is invaluable and more an more free spirits are choosing a life without a attachments.

My question is: Is there something good enough in marriage that could make us consider the possibility?

I woke up and and got ready to take breakfast before leaving to my first class of the day. When I came down the stairs, I found an elderly man ironing bedsheets in the living room. I know that was not his usual activity because it's mainly his wife who is in charge of the household tasks. Watching him there with the iron in his hand made me wonder, what had changed?

The couple usually divide the activities, the husband is in charge of the garden and growing vegetables and the wife is in charge of the activities inside the house. She is very organized and keeps the house clean and tidy with strict schedule of activities during the week.

I was studying English in UK and I was staying in a Homestay in Hastings -a house that a local family offers to students to have shelter, breakfast, dinner and all the facilities for a comfortable stay during the term of their studies. Having students in a homestay requires a lot of additional activities for a host family, but the family I was living with has found a great pleasure in hosting students for many years. They love having people eager to learn the language and the culture and are willing to offer the best experience possible for them.

My doubt about Chris ironing that morning was answered when he told me that his wife was recovering from a surgery and he, with admirable dedication and patience, was committed to accomplish one by one all the things on the list of tasks his wife had asked him to do, and according to the strict schedule she usually have. He had promised to her and he would do it! Just that simple.

He had promised to her and he would do it! Just that simple!

Oh! What a great lesson of life for me, for my generation and younger ones, for my latin background, and for anyone questioning if there is still something good about getting marriage.

For Chris, suddenly his days changed completely but he wasn't angry or against doing all the ironing, cleaning, washing up, cooking and more. He just assumed the new chores as part of the care given to his wife and he was commited to do everything according to her directions, with the list in his pocket, and following one by one the instructions from his wife.

I realized that this man gives a real meaning to the words: “man”, “gentleman”, “husband”, “life partner”, "the man in the house". For me, this man gives back a loving and caring meaning that we usually forget to link with the idea of “marriage”.

For me, this man gives back a loving and caring meaning that we usually forget to link with the idea of “marriage”.

Please let me speak about marriage not in the legal context but in the willing union between two people in love that commit their life to live together, to enjoy life together and to support each other in good and in bad times.

I never got married but I lived in union for many years and I've experience the big list of pros and cons about marriage myself. My "marriage" didn't work, and there are lots of lessons I'm trying to learn from that experience, but the thing is, when I speak with other single people about the subject, it seams like marriage is a curse, something to avoid at all cost, and a big anchor in your feet that limits your freedom, your autonomy, your personality and in general: your life.

Well, of course this is not a fairy tale story, the couple iI'm speaking about have discussions, fights, good and bad moments, but the example I saw that day is making me think twice before cursing the idea of marriage. The beauty and the lesson in this story is how great it is to have someone that loves you and cares for you; someone that is willing to hold your hand when your weak or ill, "in sickness and in health", and not as a cliché or as an obligation, but as a true demonstration of love, care and commitment that is shown with actions and not just words or with a signed pice of paper.

The question in my mind is: are there still men and women willing to commit with love instead of fear, with care instead of interest or convenience, with will instead of obligation? And of course, is it possible to do it while keeping the treasure of freedom and autonomy in ourselves but at the same time being able to share lives with true commitment, love, and will to look after themselves as well as caring for their life partner?

I truly hope so.

Love, Ana Hope